We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I need to align my fucking chakras
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Randomize
