I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
i jhust puked up my retainher.
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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