i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Randomize
