Moan for me like Helen Keller
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Randomize
