sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
