I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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