Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
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