Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
