i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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