I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
