I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
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