Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Randomize
