There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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