And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Randomize
