Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
