Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
be right there i have to get my cape
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize