we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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