if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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