here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
