My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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