just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Randomize