How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
