Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize