Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
