Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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