Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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