If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
