Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
