Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Randomize
