We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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