He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize
