now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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