Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
