Screwed.edu
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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