so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Help. Why am I so naked?
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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