"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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