Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
