I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
