i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
