Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Randomize
