dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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