Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
