when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
