the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
