It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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