I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
