there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Randomize
