I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
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