Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
