Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
