I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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