I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
