break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
