is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
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