Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize
