I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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