I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
It's blow job season.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
