I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
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