why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
