love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
