Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
