I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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