So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
You've changed since you got that strap on
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
