I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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