How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
