Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize
