She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
even my farts smell like vagina
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
