what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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